Mother’s and Father’s Day may take on new meaning after the death of a parent. Anticipating the changes and considering ways to make meaning can be helpful as the days approach:
♥ The television, store displays, billboards, magazines and newspapers are constant reminders that EVERYONE else has a mother or a father.
♥ Friends or family may offer “adopting” their parent for the day, thinking it will make it easier for you. Let them know if that is helpful to you or not.
♥ It can be comforting to write out a Mother’s or Father’s Day card or poem, and then keep it in a special place.
♥ Wearing something of theirs, using their favorite fragrance, eating the foods they relished, putting their favorite flowers in a vase, or going somewhere they enjoyed can help you feel closer to your parent.
♥ You may enjoy spending some time looking through picture albums, reminiscing with friends and family, or telling favorite stories about your parent.
♥ Listening to music can help to heal your heart.
♥ Visit the cemetery, light a candle or place flowers near your parent’s picture or urn.
♥ Whether it was your mother or your father who died, both days will be transformed.
♥ Spending time with others, balanced with allowing for some alone-time can make the days more bearable.
♥ If you are a parent, talk with your family about what would make this Mother’s or Father’s Day special for you.
♥ Your mom is still your mom; your dad is still your dad. Honor them in any way that feels right to you.
♥ You may be surprised to find that Mother’s or Father’s Day is more or less difficult than you anticipated. Either way, be gentle with yourself.
© OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center