Children’s Natural Grief Responses

Typical Reactions to the Death

• Confusion about the circumstances leading to the death
• Trouble with falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much
• Change in eating habits (eating more, eating less, or eating more junk foods)
• Crying often or unwilling to cry in front of others
• Decreased interest in (or withdrawing from) friends, family, sports, normal activities
• Difficulty concentrating, or forgetting things
• Health problems such as stomach aches, headaches; frequent colds
• Poor judgement or self-control: Impulsivity or self-destructive behaviors
• Problem with parents, teachers, or other authority figures
• Dreams about the person who died, or an increase in nightmares
• Intrusive thoughts, remembering images about the death or memories of the person
• Changes in academic performance (grades drastically dropping or improving)
• Desire to be reunited with the deceased or suicidal thoughts*

*Suicidal thoughts or talk should be taken seriously and always require professional attention.

Children Suggest these Ways to Cope with Grief Feelings:

• Talk with someone you trust
• Exercise, play sports or dance
• Listen to favorite music or music that reminds you of the person who died
• Find a way to have some fun, see a funny movie, TV show or video game
• Make a list of your strengths, things you like about yourself
• Practice deep breathing: Count to 10 when you feel stressed, angry and/or overwhelmed
• Take a walk at the beach or somewhere in nature
• Wash your face with cool water
• Scream into a pillow, or into a backpack, or punch a pillow or stuffed toy
• Paint or draw a picture
• Journal, write a poem or letter to the person who died
• Call Teen Line Number (800/TLC-TEEN) or crisis intervention line 800/999-9999
• Call OUR HOUSE for grief support